Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Peacekeeper or a peacemaker?

Today's devotion has got me thinking.  Usually I read my devotion early in the day, around the time that my coffee has kicked in fully; but today I did not get to it until fairly late.  I was surprised to find that it totally applied to my week thus far!  The question posed:  "Are you a peacekeeper or a peacemaker?"

As long as I am personally at peace, I am a peacemaker.  When I do not keep my focus on God, I lose my way; that is when I am lucky if I can be just a peacekeeper.  Being a peacemaker requires me to keep God in even my smallest of thoughts and actions.  It requires me to pay attention, to be a good listener, to do my best to understand the needs of those around me.  It requires me to exemplify calmness, caring, and compassion, with inner peace as the goal.

Being a peacekeeper merely requires me to be present, whether I recognize God there or not.  It requires me to be involved only enough to maintain commotion-free state.  It requires me to exemplify nothing more than mediator, with just outer peace as the goal.

God has led me through this week in a pretty overwhelming way--but not in a negative sense.  He has "guided my steps to peace" all the way through this Wednesday evening.  Turns out I'm at least as good at peacemaking as I am at peacekeeping.  I have no doubt I'll keep walking the right direction, getting better along the path, so long as I take deep breaths and don't get in His way...

http://www.loyolapress.com/assets/Bookcovers/112950_a-call-to-action.swf

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Heart of the Home

My friend Peggy posted this query on her Facebook page:  What do you think it means to be "the heart of your home"?  I surprised myself with how quickly and pointedly I responded:

Being the heart of the home is being the one to bear the sufferings and pains of the family, while holding them up and supporting them. But (LUCKILY) it is also being the one to bear the joys and triumphs! It is the job of every Mama. Sometimes there are crises that call for our immediate attention and support. At times like these, we can rely on the strength that we build up along the way; we fortify ourselves when our load is light! Daddies can also be the heart of the home--for the Mama, and with the Mama (two hearts as one for the kiddos)!

Sometimes I think my job as a Mama is just too hard.  Sometimes I feel like going on a LONG sabbatical.  Sometimes I feel like quitting altogether.  I wonder if my husband sometimes feels the same way about his job as Daddy.  Surely, he must--I mean, seriously, parenting is the most exhausting job in the universe! 

As I contemplate my exhaustion, I find my way to fortification.  I realize that I have to be careful not to sprint through this marathon of earthly life.  I visualize the small, round faces of my children with shining smiles and sparkling eyes, looking to me for guidance and compassion...I remember my sweet husband lauding my efforts at building up the character of each of our children (while also doing the laundry and grocery shopping and dealing with the day-to-day drama that comes with having three children from teenager to toddler)...I reflect on the Holy Family and the example that they set for me to practice gratitude, patience, and love...I think about God--the Big Guy Himself--who is, of course, the greatest example of how to really be the heart of the home.  He makes it clear that there is great sorrow, but also great joy.  There is great sacrifice, but also great peace.  There may be conflict and hostility, but also great LOVE--always LOVE--the lifeblood that keeps the beat strong.

Fortification, indeed.



So, I sigh and say a prayer, and jump back into my work...my family needs me...

Hope

Hope
     by Erika Mehlhaff

What roundness
Like arms enveloping
Is love:
A child's smile
Bright shining eyes
Best self, remembered
Hope
Hope
Hope
Love on the wing
There, but gone
A glance, a glimmer
Hope

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Personal and Social Responsibility...

I wonder in today's day and age where we have gone wrong as a nation.  So many terrible things happen in America on a daily basis.  Aside from the unlawful things, there are things that are just plain immoral and even evil.  Take, for example, the current situation in Arizona.  A lone gunman targeted a group of people gathered for a political event, killing six and wounding another 14.  Why did this horrible thing happen?  The big "why" can only be answered by God; but the small "why" is a question for humanity.  A friend of mine addressed this issue very well to me this morning...I posted the following as a note on my Facebook page, but wanted to repost here...


My friend has it right: ...Isn't it in fact "our" responsibility to have either interviewed or evaluated [the Arizona shooter] professionally, even if against his will, especially after there were 10 written and verbal concerns to the school admin? Especially since thousands read his countless internet blogs? I do not subscribe to the idea that no one can do anything to help, unless someone commits a crime, as the police say. Many saw a crime coming and not only did society fail the victims, they failed this young man who is now overwhelmed with hate.....and hate : love :: [d]evil : God. Jesus said He would not leave one single sheep behind. As believers, then, we must see that while Jesus watched out for him for so long before he committed the crime, we did not do our part...and so he *was* left behind.

My friend and I are firm believers in personal responsibility. We are both strong Christian believers. She said that she didn't have to strength to post this herself because she feared people would think ill of her, or that she is crazy! But she, like I, certainly would not want to offend anyone. Isn't that where our country has failed, by having fear of "offending" each other?

If you feel the need to comment, please be respectful. I am tolerant (as all Americans should be) of the views of others, but not of disrespect and hate. PLEASE NO FLAMES!! I will remove any such posts! (Posted for you, my friend C.--you know who you are!!)

Friday, January 7, 2011

I am a Convict...

A convict.  Yep; that's me.  No, I am not a felon; I have not broken any state or federal laws.  But I am a convict all the same, guilty of not knowing my Catholic doctrine as fully as I could--ahem, as I should.

What makes it the most terrible for me is being unable to teach doctrine to my children in a way that makes a lasting impression on them, and brings them closer to Jesus.  The Lord knows I try--I operate mostly on faith and it shows every day.  But the truth is that sometimes just being faithful doesn't cut it; sometimes children need some definitive answers.  When one of my children asks a faith- or doctrine-related question that I cannot answer, I have heretofore just told myself, "Well, I guess he/she is just being a 'doubting Thomas' about that."  But some things do have real explanations; some questions actually do have answers; and it is my responsibility as a parent to provide those explanations and answers.

The lights are dim in this room, where it should be so much brighter.  Every so often (and moreso recently than ever before), there is a light in the relative darkness.  I imagine it is Jesus with a flashlight, guiding me and showing me the path I am supposed to take.  Sometimes, I redirect my steps immediately; sometimes it takes a little time...

One problem I have is letting the ways of the world interrupt my progress--I am a repeat offender as far as that goes.  I take full responsibility for that, and am happy to say that I am getting better at dealing with this issue every day.  The bigger problem I have is just not knowing where to start!  One might say, "It doesn't matter where you start; just start somewhere!"  I know; I know.  But that doesn't make it any easier for me!!  What happens is that I DO start somewhere, but then get overwhelmed and can't figure out which tangent to follow; so I end up abandoning  my efforts...sigh.

I seriously believe a little discipleship is in order.  My cousin says that my Grandmother would roll over in her grave to hear me say this because "it sounds like a Protestant idea, only for those praise-and-worship people."  But it doesn't have to be a "Protestant idea" alone.  There is no real cause to separate Catholics from Protestants based on how we manifest our love of Jesus and zeal for Christian living--Catholics should (in my opinion) choose to engage in their faith in a way that is just as open and fervent as those "praise-and-worship people," at least sometimes!  That said, I turn back to myself and am convicted in my own heart of not doing this.  I sing loudly and proudly at Mass, and encourage the same in my children--singing is praying twice, they say--but that is the extent.  I need to do more; I need to show more; I need to serve more.  I need to do it for my children.

I realize now that all of my efforts to find good Catholic educational resources for my children should really have been divided, so that I could have also found those things for myself!  Then I wouldn't have to rely completely on someone else to teach my children the doctrine of the church!  I am now in search of some good resources (Apologetics?) that are not too intimidating for me to study, and that actually help me to teach my children church doctrine along with showing them how to live faithfully.  Though I am raising good Christian children, I need to refocus in order to raise good Catholic children.  It would be wonderful if I could find someone to disciple me personally along the way--someone who is on fire about their faith and actually knows what they're talking about, too; someone who exemplifies Catholic living outside of religious life; someone who can be a role model for me to watch while also actively teaching me and praying with me.  Hopefully along the way, I will be afforded the light of God's grace in such abundance that the dimness will turn to brightness, and will shine for me and my children.  Then I will be a convict no more!!


Other notes...
Today's online devotion was a really good one...
http://www.loyolapress.com/assets/Bookcovers/91025_the-lord-is-with-you.swf

And I am compelled to watch my Catholic friend Peggy's reversion story again and again on "The Journey Home" (EWTN Global Catholic Network)...
http://www.youtube.com/EWTN#p/search/0/0Rp94E6dwnM

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Little Drummer Boy in You...

Though she is only two and a half years old, my Little is obviously committed to Jesus.  She regularly refers to Him in her play, and is always excited to receive "blessing water" as we enter and leave the church building on Sundays.  She delights in getting her blessing from the priest at "Communion time."  My Little sleeps now with a Jesus doll, too--I call Him JC.  She hugs JC when she's sad and in need of comfort; and she talks to him to thank Jesus for her blessings when she is happy.  She helps JC give blessings to Panda, Teddy Bear, and Pink the Elephant, often repeating things that the priest says during the Mass.  I encourage these things in her, helping her develop her relationship with and commitment to Jesus at this young age.

In a certain sense, my Little reminds me of the character of the Little Drummer Boy. Though fictional, the Little Drummer Boy depicted in the popular Christmas song and movie is a great example of Christian commitment to the Lord.  Though he is among the least of people, with little in the way of material goods, he still gives of himself by playing his drum for Baby Jesus.  The boy shares the only thing he has to offer; he gives the greatest gift he has.  My Little gives her play to the Lord in a similar way.  It is as moving and inspiring to me as the song and the movie about the Little Drummer Boy--if not more so.

"I played my drum for Him...; I played my best for Him," the song goes.  In offering all that he has to give--his best drumming skills--the boy commits himself wholly to Jesus to the best of his human ability.  Hopefully, in this new year, everyone will be able to practice the humility that the Little Drummer Boy showed.  Hopefully, everyone will be able to share their own personal gifts as the Little Drummer Boy did.  Hopefully, everyone will be able to find the Little Drummer Boy inside himself, and commit himself to the Lord just as completely.