Little Hands...

My children are very well-behaved in church.  When we attend Mass, inevitably someone comments about it as we finish the recessional hymn and begin filtering out of the church.  Most people would beam with pride, but I have to concentrate on the beaming.  Why?  The truth is that it took me eons to actually 'get it'.  "I expect good behavior," I would think when someone would smile and pass along a compliment.  I mean, I always have known that there are children who misbehave in church; it is like they think the hush during the Mass is their cue to put on a show.  But I always figured they simply felt obliged because that is what their parents expect of them.  After a quizzical look from me, parishoners would fumble a bit and ask, "Well, how can I get my [son/daughter/grandchild, neighbor's kid] to just sit and be quiet like yours do?" or something similar.  No clue.

This happened so many times that I finally had to analyze it directly--at least so the puzzlement would be wiped from my face and replaced by a polite smile and a shrug of modesty...

Now, don't get me wrong:  my children definitely aren't always angels, even if they ARE in God's house!  They have their ups and downs and silly moments like all kiddos do.  Sometimes I feel as though I am shushing them repeatedly or reminding them constantly to actually pray and pay attention in Mass.  However, as I began observing the parishoners around me more and more, I noticed a couple of things of real interest.  First, I noticed how few children (that is, people under the age of 16) actually attend Mass.  Secondly, I noticed a fairly crowded 'cry room' on a pretty regular basis.  Those things helped me to realize that the compliments come from people who have seen mostly ill-behaved children, or none at all in the main church.  And it finally became clear how I should answer the question of how to get children to behave during Mass.  There are a few things that make it possible for my family; it isn't always easy or fool-proof, but it's what we do......

1. First of all, it is important to realize that until your children make their First Communion (for Catholics anyways), YOUR actual time spent paying close attention during Mass will be limited-to-nonexistent; you'll have to check out the readings and such ahead of time.  (That is actually helpful when the older children need help understanding some things during Mass, too.)
2. Second, I vehemently oppose cry rooms.  DO NOT use the cry rooms if at all possible!!  They should be reserved for parents of infants--if there is an older sibling, it is time to move to the main sanctuary--because toddlers learn that parents expect them to be loud/play and they see no reason to disappoint.  It becomes a habit that is difficult to break later.  (Note that I NEVER have used cry rooms, even when my children were infants; I would just step outside the sanctuary if necessary back then.)
3. EXPECTATIONS are key!  Expect quiet during toddler years; attentiveness to parent-guided prayer/quiet discussion at preschool age; and personal prayer and reflection at older ages, as designated by your church doctrine or family values.
4. Whisper to your Littles about the statues/pictures/church furnishings/etc., and try to explain in 'little people terms' the rituals of the Mass as they are happening.  Repeat to them the importance of honoring and respecting the prayer time of those around you.  Other worshippers appreciate your efforts, and kindly deal with the whispers because you are engaging the kiddos and teaching them.
5. Be sure to help your children participate in the Mass as much as possible.  If there is sharing of the peace, encourage them to shake hands with other parishoners; take them with you to receive Communion--they can either simply watch the action, or get a blessing themselves (which they LOVE)!
6. Praise adherence to your expectations, esp. in front of others.
7. Make sure the youngest among you have faith-related books or toys to help keep them occupied during the grown-up parts of the church celebration, just in case.  (My Little loves having her own books, Jesus/Noah/Daniel 'action figures,' and Bible story coloring pages!)
8. Leave the sanctuary only if ABSOLUTELY necessary (e.g. potty training toddlers, shrieking that requires firmer redirection than can be given in mixed company, spontaneous combustion of anyone or anything outside of a burning bush...).  God will understand.

Seems like a lot in theory, but it is easier in practice than you might think!!  That said, I will leave you with the following poem I wrote, having been inspired by my own Little during Mass this past Sunday...

Little Hands

Her Little hands, folded just so,

Point up to Heaven so He’ll know

That she is thinking thoughts of Him:

Jesus, who saved all from sin.

She walks in quiet steps to see

The priest who leads our praise of He

Who keeps us safe and guides us so

That His boundless love we’ll know.

Her Little voice echoes a prayer

To Jesus who is always there;

The sweetness in her words rings true,

As Little prayers always do.

She smiles, knowing she is blessed

By God above, whose heaven-sent

Son, Jesus, lives inside her heart,

As He has done right from the start.

To AGM with love from Mama

28 Sept. 2010

What's the Word? A funny thing happened on the way to the blogosphere...

The word is there's a new member in the blogosphere...the word is it's yours truly...

You might be asking why I decided to start blogging.  Well‎, it turns out that my Facebook page started to take on a more religious bent than I really intended, which got me thinking.  "What if," I thought to myself, "I started a blog for all of my religious/faith-related banter, instead of subjecting all of my dear Facebook friends to it?"  I asked this of myself after realizing that while my postings of that nature were helpful to me, they weren't necessarily serving the same purpose for those on my friends list who mainly use Facebook for life updates and recreation.  So...here I am...

Of course, once I decided to take on this daunting process, I was stumped as to what to title my blog.  So, here's the funny story that goes with the title--which is funnier than it might seem right now...

I decided that in order to come up with a good blog title, I needed inspiration.  Who better to ask for assistance than one of the funniest people I know:  my sister!!  So I called her, out of the blue, in the middle of the day.  "Hellooooooo!" she said, as though she had been waiting for my call all the while.  "Hi," I said.  "So, I have a question.  Well, actually, I just need you to tell me the first thing you think of, the first thing that comes to mind, when I say a certain word."  She seemed curious.  She said, "Uhhhh...ok...but just a word, or what?"  "Well, it doesn't have to be just one word; it could be a phrase or sentence or a whole treatise on whatever you like!  Just go with it!"  "Ooookay," she said with a chuckle.  "So, what's the word?"

You might think that is where the blog title jumped out at me; but you'd be wrong.  The conversation continued...

"Jesus," I said.  "Christ," she said.  "That wasn't exactly what I was hoping for," I told her.  Then I explained why I was asking.  From that moment, we reminisced about old inside jokes and childhood memories, and dissolved into laughter about all of the obvious and hilarious things suitable for the title of my blog.  "Word association!"..."Word up!"..."Word to your mom!"...

I am so glad I decided to call my sister...and now it's time for a dance break:  RUNNING MAN FOR JESUS!  (You are loved, D. ...)